


Stick With Me

by Hollyspacey



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Asgardian nonsense, Clint Is a Good Bro, Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-01 23:55:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6541972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hollyspacey/pseuds/Hollyspacey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Darcy had to choose an Avenger to be stuck to, Steve would be very close to the top of that list. Because of reasons. But no one asked her, so she got stuck to another one entirely.</p>
<p>Or, Darcy realizes that Clint should be banned from the lab forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stick With Me

Clint wandered around the lab, bored out of his mind. Darcy, who would normally keep him entertained, was hard at work typing up notes and listening to something very loudly, the tinny sound filtering softly from her earbuds.

His early attempts at getting her attention had failed: the subtle throat-clearing, the rather impressive set of handstands he’d done on the lab table, the drum solo he’d performed with a ruler and what looked like it was once a part of a piece of machinery, even the highly advanced paper airplane he sent soaring through the lab to land on her desk.

Clint decided that the best way to drag her from her work would be to hop up on the counter across from her desk and simply call her name until she got frustrated with it and went to get ice cream with him. It was a good plan, the only bump happening when Clint leaned back and plopped his hand smack dab in the middle of a suspicious puddle of goo.

If there was one thing that Clint knew to be true, it was that touching unknown substances in a lab usually didn’t end well. He hopped off the counter, hand aloft and walked around Darcy’s desk to shove it in front of her and ask just what it was covering his skin.

*****

Darcy was very hard at work. She knew that Clint was creeping around the lab trying to get her attention, but she was determined to finish her work as she had very specific plans that evening and she needed time to prepare herself.

Because she had a date. With Steve Rogers.

Ok, so not a date exactly. More like a casual movie night, with some takeout. But, he had come up with the idea, and since Darcy had been carrying a Statue of Liberty sized torch for the guy, she was so calling it a date. Hence the frenzy to get her work done.

Darcy could see Clint in the corner of her eye, propped up across the lab, staring, occasionally saying her name. Nope, he may be one of her closest friends, but she would not be distracted. Not today.

She typed away as Clint climbed off the counter and disappeared from her field of vision. Moments later, he reappeared right beside her, saying her name again. She glanced up briefly to see his hand waving in front of her and gave him a high five, “Go away, Clint. I’m busy.”

The words died on her lips as she realized that there was something squishy on Clint’s hand. Pulling out her earbuds with the other hand, Darcy shrieked at the man she was hand-to-hand with, “Eww. Seriously, Clint? What the hell?”

She tried yanking her hand back, but only succeeding in pulling the archer along, too.

“Uhh, Darce. Please tell me you know what this stuff is.”

“Umm, no. It was on your hand.”

He pointed with his free hand, “Yeah, because it was all over that countertop and I put my hand in it on accident.”

Darcy gave a few more experimental tugs, but the two of them were stuck firmly together. She slid out of her chair and they awkwardly walked over to the countertop to look at the clear residue left behind. Darcy squinted and gave an experimental sniff, “It doesn’t smell.”

Clint grabbed a pencil from the desk and gave it a small poke, “It still looks gross.”

Darcy sighed, “JARVIS, get Jane down here, please.”

After a moment, the AI responded, “I am afraid Dr. Foster is… indisposed at the moment.”

“Oh, yuck. Tell Thor to hurry up and finish, then, because we need Jane, like, now. This is serious.”

Five minutes later, after some frenzied efforts to pull apart from Clint, a rumpled and frantic Jane showed up, followed behind by a pleased-looking Thor. “Janie, darling. Sorry to interrupt, but would you possibly happen to know what that little puddle on the countertop is? Because Clint touched it and now we’re stuck together.”

She held up her and Clint’s attached hands as she spoke. Jane and Thor both walked over to examine the puddle, and Darcy felt a chill when they noticed the nervous look they shared.

“Well, that doesn’t look great,” Clint muttered beside her.

Darcy tried to cross her arms, glaring at Clint as she realized it was impossible. How was she possibly going to be able to intimidate anyone still stuck to Clint?

Jane subtly nudged Thor forward and he gave her an overly-bright smile, “Lady Darcy. I brought my Jane a gift from Asgard and I believe that some may have spilled on to the countertop. Do not fear, though, it isn’t harmful.”

“What is it?”

Thor shared another look with Jane, and Darcy stepped forward to poke him in the chest, “ _Thor_. I need answers. What. Is. This?”

For the first time since she’d known him, Thor had a sheepish look on his face. A glance back to Jane showed a similar expression. “The item I brought back from Asgard was a potion that is meant to enhance arousal and extend lovemaking.”

Clint broke the silence that followed Thor’s admission, “Aww, no. Like space Viagra?”

“I’m not certain what that is. My apologies. It was meant as an offering to my dear Jane.”

“It’s our anniversary,” Jane supplied helpfully.

Darcy nodded, “Yes, and I’m very happy for you both, but this is a problem. Why are Clint and I stuck together? I have to say the fact that it’s all thanks to some sort of Asgardian aphrodisiac is not exactly a comforting thought.”

“I believe that you are stuck together because the two of you are not making love. The potion serves a specific purpose. The magic is confused.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” Clint muttered.

“Ok, so how do we unconfuse it?” 

Thor frowned, “I am afraid that I do not know, Lady Darcy. It is not meant to be touched by the uncoupled. Allow me to travel to Asgard and I shall find out.”

Darcy leveled a glare at Jane and her small squeak of protest, “Yes, Thor. Please go.”

Thor enveloped Jane in a tight embrace, murmuring softly in her ear, finally letting her go when she nodded and kissed him. On his way out of the lab, he patted Clint on the shoulder and leaned down to kiss Darcy on the forehead, “Don’t you fret, little lightning sister. I will return soon and set you right.”

“Thank you, Thor.”

Once Thor was gone, Darcy stared down at her and Clint’s hands and sighed, “Well, this should be fun.”

It was not fun. 

It took a grand total of three minutes before Darcy realized that any hope she’d had of finishing her work for the day while still attached to Clint was long gone. For someone whose work required him to be patient and focused, he sure was a twitchy little thing. He was jittery and antsy and it was maybe every thirty seconds that he would seemingly forget he was stuck to Darcy and he’d pull his arm away, Darcy’s left hand jerking away to follow his.

“Well, well, well, What do we have here?”

Darcy groaned at the sound of Tony’s voice entering the lab. She looked up to see him leaning against the doorway, smirking. “Hello, Tony.”

“Why, hello, Darcy. Clint. How are things?”

“Things are great, Tony. Goodbye.”

He gasped dramatically, “You’re not trying to get rid of me, are you?”

“What possible reason would we have to try to get rid of you?”

Tony shrugged, and moved to stand on front of them, glancing down at Darcy and Clint’s connected hands with a gleeful grin. Darcy groaned, “Fine. Yes, Clint and I are stuck together. How did you even know about this?”

“Something interesting was happening in my Tower. Did you really think I wouldn’t know?”

“Hoping, maybe.”

“You wound me, Lewis. So, space Viagra.”

Darcy and Clint nodded wearily, and she sighed, “Well, technically it’s just an aphrodisiac. Like the outer space version of oysters. But, yeah. It sucks.”

Tony slid into the chair across from them, “As entertaining as this is, and it really is, thanks for that, by the way. I really did try to help. JARVIS,” Tony motioned and a hologram popped up with charts and graphs and a model of an atom. “I got JARVIS to analyze the substance holding you two together. Definitely not from here. We’re still running tests, but I have a feeling your best bet is going to be Thor.”

Darcy let her head fall to the desk, “Of course.”

“Oh, come on. It can’t be that bad. It’s just Clint.”

Clint looked up from the game of Minesweeper he was playing on Darcy’s computer, “She’s just mad because now she’s gonna miss her date with Steve.”

Both Darcy and Tony turned to face him with widened eyes. 

“Darcy has a date with Cap? How did I not know about this?”

“It’s not a date. And how did you know about that?”

Clint shrugged, turning back to his game, “I know everything.”

“It’s not a date,” Darcy repeated, pointing a finger in Tony’s face, “It’s not. It’s just us watching a movie, and I swear if you embarrass me or Steve about this, I will get JARVIS to reprogram all of your suits to taze you in the balls the next time you put them on. And you know I will do this.”

Tony paused, “Fine. I’ll be good.”

“Thank you.”

Tony eventually got bored and left the lab, whipping out his phone to take a few pictures on his way out. Darcy returned to her work, but not before giving Clint a final glare and muttering, “It’s not a date.”

Clint flopped back in his chair, sighing dramatically. Darcy ignored him. He jiggled his foot in time to the song he was humming. Darcy ignored him. Finally, he sat back up and lay his head on Darcy’s shoulder, “I need food, Darce.”

As if on cue, Clint’s stomach let out a loud growl. Darcy patted his head head with her free hand, “Ok. You poor thing.”

She finished up the page she was on and stood, walking with Clint out of the lab. They reached the common floor and the elevator doors slid open, and because Darcy had the luck that she did, Steve was standing there waiting.

His eyes lit up when he saw Darcy, before a frown covered his face when he noticed she and Clint were holding hands. Or, that it looked like they were holding hands. She could practically hear the confusion in his voice, “Hey, Darcy. Clint.”

Clint nodded, “Hey, Steve.”

Darcy stepped forward, “Hey, Steve. So, funny story. Clint and I are kind of stuck together? Like, he touched something he shouldn’t have, “ Darcy ignored Clint’s indignant, “Hey!” and continued babbling, “So, yeah. Totally stuck together. At least until Thor gets back. That’s why we’re all stuck together and stuff.”

Steve’s face relaxed a bit, but the furrow between his brow deepened, “Oh, are you ok? What exactly is holding you two together?”

“Well, it’s a sort of-”

“It’s space Viagra,” Clint supplied helpfully. Darcy whipped her head around to glare at Clint, who simply smirked at her with a shrug.

“Space...Viagra?”

Darcy winced, “Not exactly.”

Clint piped up again, “It’s really like an alien sex potion.”

Darcy opened her mouth to refute this, but just ended up nodding sadly, “Yeah, actually it is something like that. But Thor is getting it sorted out.”

Clint shrugged, and looked forlornly down at their joined hands, “Maybe. We might be stuck like this forever, though.”

_The little shit_. Darcy smiled sweetly at Clint, “Don’t you worry, that won’t happen. I can always cut your hand off if necessary.”

Clint held up his free hand in surrender, “Like she said, Thor will fix this.”

Steve rubbed the back of his neck as he studied the two of them. In a soft voice, he spoke to Darcy, “If we need to reschedule our plans, we can. I don’t mind.”

Darcy could feel the opportunity slipping away. On one hand, going on a date with Steve while still attached to Clint sounded like a positively terrible idea. But on the other hand, she had waited months for Steve to work up the courage to make his move and she thought this might be it. She could not, and would not, wait another month. Desperate times calling for desperate measures, and all that.

Glancing back at Clint to make sure it was ok, Darcy shook her head at Steve, “No, we don’t have to. I mean, if you don’t mind.”

“I’ll be quiet as a mouse,” Clint offered.

Steve looked not entirely convinced, but he nodded resolutely, “Yeah, ok. I’ll see you tonight. The both of you.” 

*****

A few feet from Steve’s apartment, Darcy came to a stop. Clint turned back, eyebrow raised, and Darcy let out a deep breath, “I can’t do this.”

“What? I thought it was just a couple of friends hanging out.”

The look he gave her implied that he thought it was anything but that. Darcy glared at him, “It is.”

“Uh huh. I guess that’s why you get so upset when anyone implies it might be something more than that.”

Darcy just shrugged, she didn’t like it when Clint got observant. Even though he wasn’t dumb, she always liked it when he let people think he was. And now here he was being smart and helpful, and she wanted to smack him.

“Look, Darce, it’s not the end of the world if you like him. If I had to guess, I’d say he likes you too. Steve’s a good guy. And not to go all alpha male on you, but he’s one of the few that would be ok for my Darcy.”

Darcy grinned and smacked Clint with her free hand, “Shut up, you dummy.”

*****

As far as not-quite dates went, it wasn’t the _worst_. Dinner went smoothly, Steve had ordered her favorite from the Italian restaurant they liked down the street. Clint ended up stealing half of hers when she wasn’t looking, but Darcy figured that while his mouth was full of pasta, that meant that he wasn’t saying anything embarrassing, a good trade-off, in her eyes.

After they ate, they wandered into Steve’s living room and he started setting up the movie. Clint flopped onto the middle of the couch, pulling Darcy down beside him. No way was she going to have Clint wedged between her and Steve. Darcy dug her elbow into Clint’s side, “Clint, I know how you like to sit on the end, so scoot.”

“Ow! I mean, yes, I love the end seat. Thank you, Darcy.”

He grumbled to himself as he shuffled down to the end and Darcy took up the middle seat. Steve grinned at her as he sat down beside her and started the movie. Darcy could barely pay attention to the screen, every time Clint moved it jostled her arm.

And on the other side, Steve’s presence was distracting in a different way. He would move his arm and brush against Darcy, inclining his head to whisper a, “Sorry,” in Darcy’s ear. Darcy would respond by nodding and leaning just that much closer to him. She could feel his body heat coming off him in waves and yet it only made her shiver.

Finally, the credits ended and Clint started blabbering about the movie. There had been a fight scene and Clint seemed personally offended by the technical inaccuracies. Steve and Darcy shared an amused grin.

Steve walked them to the door, Clint slipping discreetly into the hall to text on his phone, leaving Steve and Darcy to say goodbye with a hint of privacy. Darcy took back everything bad she’d ever said about him, because Clint was clearly a great bro. She would have to remember to bake him some of those snickerdoodle cookies he loved so much as a thank you for being on his best behavior.

Darcy leaned against the doorjamb and smiled up at Steve. He smiled back, a shy look on his face. Darcy was certain that if this were a real date, or whatever it could have been in a different situation, this would be the part of the night where he’d lean down and kiss her and fireworks would probably start exploding around them both. Not that she’d imagined how a kiss with Steve might go down. Nope.

As it were, the two of them ended up staring at each other as a semi-distracted archer stood a foot away. Not exactly the most romantic of scenes. But the look Steve was giving her was definitely a romantic one. His voice was low as he spoke, “I had fun tonight.”

Darcy nodded, “Yeah, me too. We should do this again. Maybe after Thor gets back?”

“Yeah, I would like that.”

Steve’s eyes flicked down to her mouth as he leaned slightly forward, then his eyes darted to the side and he caught sight of Clint, studiously ignoring the two of them. Steve cleared his throat and straightened, moving back from Darcy and killing the moment. 

She sighed, “Well, I guess we better go. Long day and all.”

“Yeah, of course,” 

Steve made a move to hug Darcy, then hesitated again, choosing instead to extend his hand. She tried keeping the disappointment out of her voice as she slid her hand into his, “Night, Steve.”

*****

The next morning, Darcy and Clint were in the kitchen eating breakfast when Steve came in. He grinned at Darcy and inclined his head, “Morning, Darcy. Clint.”

“Good morning.”

“Munngng,” Clint grumbled around a mouthful of sugary cereal.

A low rumble of thunder caught their attention and Darcy hopped up, “Thor’s back!”

A few moments later, the god of thunder himself strode into the kitchen, “Greetings, friends!”

Darcy pulled Clint forward to Thor, “Please tell me you know how to unstick us.”

“Aye, Lady Darcy. And it is quite an obvious solution. The potion was for the coupled, and the only solution is to become a couple.”

Darcy saw Steve stand up on the other side of the room and walk their way. He looked angry, eyes alert, nostrils flaring, every muscle in his body tense. Darcy looked at Clint with widened eyes and then back to Thor, shaking her head, “No. Nope. Not gonna happen.”

“You sure know how to make a guy feel good, Darce,” Clint said, with a lazy grin.

“Please, you know I love you. But you also know that that would be the most awkward experience ever,” she fixed him with a meaningful look, “Also, a certain redhead would most likely kill us afterwards.”

Clint turned back to Thor, “Yeahhhh. No, we can’t do that.”

Thor laughed a booming laugh, “You misunderstand. Consummation isn’t required, but the two of you must kiss. That will be sufficient to break the magic.”

Darcy let out a relieved breath, noting out of her periphery that Steve did too. She and Clint looked at each other and he shrugged. Darcy nodded, “Yeah, ok. We can do that.”

They stepped closer together and stared at each other awkwardly until they both started laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Finally, Clint leaned forward and cupped her chin, leaning forward and placing a chaste kiss on her lips. They moved back from each other and looked down at their hands.

At the same moment, they each pulled back, and their hands separated. A collective sigh of relief went around the room, and Darcy threw her arms around Clint, “Oh thank god! I adore you, but let’s never do that again.”

“Deal. Ok, if it’s alright with everyone, I’d like to go watch tv in my apartment, alone, without pants. Everyone have a good day.”

He stepped away from Darcy and in an instant, another body took his place. Steve stared down at her for a moment, before sliding his hand behind her neck and capturing her lips in a kiss.

A real kiss, not the soft, friendly peck that Clint had given her, this kiss meant business. This kiss ignited and sparked and made promises. It was the exact kiss that Darcy had been waiting on for so long from him. Steve broke away and pressed his forehead to hers, looking down at her with darkened eyes, “I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time.”

Darcy gave a shaky grin, “Yeah, me too. You really should have done that sooner.”

“M’sorry.”

She shrugged, “It’s ok. You can always make it up to me.”

Clint’s voice broke through the moment, “Gosh, Darce. You moved on quick. I thought what we had was special.”

She shot him a playful glare and threw up her middle finger at him, making him chuckle as he grabbed his cereal and left the room. Thor clapped his hands on both Darcy’s and Steve’s shoulders and beamed down at them, “I am so glad to have you two realize your affection to one another. I shall talk to Tony about a celebration in your honor.”

Darcy groaned, “No thanks, Thor.”

“That really won’t be necessary,” replied Steve.

“Very well. At least allow me to procure some more of this potion. I promise the results are much more satisfactory when used properly.”

Darcy went to protest, but Steve laid a hand on her arm, “Well, it wouldn’t hurt to try it out.”

Darcy gaped at Steve a moment, but quickly recovered, “Maybe Steve’s right. Won’t hurt to try.”


End file.
